02 June 2008

Jack Passion (World Beard and Moustache Champion)
10.0

Full beard, natural. These are the stipulations by which you must abide to become the most admired champion at the World Beard and Moustache Championships held biannually around the world. (The next competition will be held in Ancorage, 23 May 2009.)

It may seem as thought the Beard Revue has become awfully liberal with its 10.0 offering. On the contrary — there are just a lot of admirable beards out there that warrant the highest praise. And this one is no exception.

Passion has a passion for is an avid beard-wearer. The rich red hue with golden highlights are painted with a master’s brush. Draping like a weeping willow past collar, shoulder and chest, the pilose jaw is a national treasure.

Men have crossed traffic to further inspect, admire and compliment this beard. Women have offered their loins. Judges from around the globe have conferred a third prize in ought five and championship of the world in ought seven. Nearly five years in the making, Passion’s beard is truly one of the greatest living specimens out there.

On his web site, Passion answers a few questions regarding the barba maximus. His wise-beyond-the-years answer to Does it itch? (a question I often field) is my favorite:

You know how a cut itches as it heals? Consider your face healing. It will get better with time.

Thanks to Phil Olsen, Beard Team USA’s captain, for suggesting the review (it was overdue).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's a great explanation!

Right up there with Billy Gibbons [zz top] on why he grew a beard..." I wanted to see what God wanted me to look like" :)

The Bastard said...

All hail the mighty!