31 July 2008

Easter Eggs

Does anyone ever notice or look for the easter eggs throughout this blog?

There are hidden messages under some text of nearly every post. For example, hold your mouse over THIS and you will find the egg.

So:

  1. Did you notice them before?
  2. Do you care?
Let me know. Thanks.

28 July 2008

Rob Weychert
9.5


Rob “Windhammer” Weychert is a graphic designer, artist, writer, speaker, and thinker living in Philadelphia, PA. If you haven’t heard, he has recently been crowned the Philadelphia regional champ of the US Air Guitar Championships. Guess what? He also has an amazing beard.

This Barba di Tiziano flaunts its brilliant hue through a sturdy mold. Possessing a well-balanced shapeliness, the highlight is clearly the whipped tuft resting between the lip and the chin. Upon initial gaze it flickers like an eternal flame of beautiful beardedness. Nevertheless, the hypnotic swirl is actually static. Add beard sorcerer to Weychert’s CV.

See it on the flickr.
See the ginger beard live at An Event Apart, Chicago, October 13–14, 2008.

Supplementary haiku:

I’m not mendacious
women dig my honesty
and my flying car
Get yer Web Standards Creativity at the Amazon.com.

27 July 2008

Rob Zombie
7.0

By Ian
This is one mess of a beard. What with the crazy devilish hair and the angry eyes, this beard has a hard time keeping up. That’s not to say that it isn’t a great beard. Mr. Zombie’s beard is a powerful declaration of raw animal instinct and is a terrific tool of those in the metal scene. However, it screams neglect with an equally loud roar, which is where the problems begin.

This beard simply has too many distractions. The viewer is drawn to the hair, to the makeup, to the eyes. The beard is too easily forgotten and pushed to the side, overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of its owner. Its sad. Such a beard deserves better.


24 July 2008

Devendra Banhart
9.2


As Pitchfork recently reported, elf prince and lord of furry woodland creatures Devendra Banhart has finally released the first proper promotional video 10 months after his album Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon was released.

But more important than the timing is that Natalie Portman stars! his beard is prominently featured.

Though his canon errs folk, Banhart looks like some 70s southern rocker. The mossy growth comes in a variety of sizes from full to long-and-freaky-(in-an-awesome-kind-of-way). It’s tough, but jovial — Santa and Muppet at the same time. It is mesmerizing, it is vivacious, it is Euterpe. It is not perfect, and thus not the beard of fellow indie folkster Sam Beam.

Legend has it, Banhart’s beard is home to an ancient colony of pixies from a faraway land. Which makes it even awesomer.



Bonus: dress Devendra

22 July 2008

Cesare Bonizzi
9.7

By Ian

Brother Cesare is a Capuchin friar, and he likes to rock. His beard does too.

According to the BBC, Brother Cesare was inspired to join the heavy metal scene fifteen years ago after attending a Metallica concert. His beard has fit right in. Flowing naturally and smoothly from his balding dome, this crinkly white beard is an odd juxtaposition of metal and classical, of inner youth and wise old age.

The music world needs more beards like this. Bravo, sir.

21 July 2008

Flickr Spell

B E alpha R Pewter Lowercase Letter d R McElman_080417_6518_E V DSC_0072 E - linen monogram

This has nothing to do with beards, but is very cool.

20 July 2008

Sub Pop turns 20, hair migrates


From Billboard.com:

…Hair in the face is now hair on the face.

Even chrome-domed comic David Cross was not immune, sporting shrubbery that made him look like either a real-life Wooly Willy or the Jewish Isaac Hayes. “I borrowed this beard from Jim of My Morning Jacket,” Cross said on Saturday, while hanging in the VIP section at SP20, the label's two-day anniversary bash. “I have to give it back to Sam from Iron & Wine after I’m done with it.”

Truth is Sub Pop co-founder Bruce Pavitt set a hirsute tone right from the start.…

17 July 2008

Aubrey de Grey
10.0



158-year-old Aubrey de Grey does not believe aging should kill us. De Grey's beard, grown over 132 years, defies aging altogether and keeps its red sheen. Bravo!



That means that the longest beard ever belonging to Hans Langseth may be a rendered completely irrelevant in the near future.

Enough of that, what about the beard? Look at it. Alpacas don’t pack a fleece that fine! It’s amber and wooly, brushy and breezy — what more do you want?



Long and Rip-Van-Winkley, as mentioned prior, this thing is splits a few hairs in the genre bouncing world of beards. The world of intense scientific pursuit in which de Grey lives walks hand-in-hand with superbeardage. But that he often speaks in the public forum (including The Colbert Report) is a truly rare gem of a beard. We all know popular culture and beards don’t have the best track record recent history.

So it’s with this prudence and audacity that de Grey’s beard receives the high marks. Not only is it stunning, it’s brilliant.

Beard growth experiment

We used to play this game regarding bad smells called Lucas or Florida where you guess the source of the stench. After viewing this this video, I’d be willing to start a new game called Awesome or Creepy. I’m putting my money on Awesome for this one.

16 July 2008

Beardwatcher


Lucas just wrote from Provincetown, MA, sending Beard Revue some great insider pics from Bear Week festivities. Note the I {heart} BEARS shirt Lucas dons.



One question: Lucas, where’s your beard? Thanks for the photos!

It grows on you

Indeed, it does…



5 months in 1 minute

From Sydney to Perth…


15 July 2008

Jane shaves her cake mix beard

Kinda funny. Kinda.

Evolution of a Beard

With Irish music!

14 July 2008

Awesome and sad at the same time.

Kudos for the editing. So sorry about the beard loss.

Provincetown, MA
9.3


Eh, it’s Bear Week in Provincetown, a hop, skip and jump away from my old stomping grounds. I'm pretty sure this is just an hilarious-yet-endearing-yet-completely-practical way to celebrate sexuality, human rights and hairiness. Beard Revue is concerned with the latter, specifically around the mandible.

Imagine an event where beardies converged not to compete but to simply celebrate. Here it is. Godspeed, bears. Godspeed, beards. :-)



11 July 2008

Pete Hickey
0.0/9.5

By Ian

Pete Hickey is the man. In the name of Science, he decided to shave off half of his ample beard to determine once and for all if beards really keep the wearer warmer. As he discusses on his website, the results were inconclusive. However, it seems to be primarily the truth-seeking, pure scientist in him that admits to the failures of the experiment. Any beardy can clearly see that this beard is better than even the coat of a mighty polar bear. The incontrovertible depth and scratchy fuzziness of this beard seems to radiate a friendly warmth. Indeed, the deep blackness of Pete’s face blanket appears to swallow up light itself and transform it into pure heat.


Note: Beard Revue must advise that such reckless beard experiments can and often do end in permanent naked-facery. Shave wisely.

10 July 2008

James Frey
7.2


James Frey, best known as the author of best-selling A Million Little Pieces, has a new novel out called Bright Shiny Morning. He also has a consistent, C average beard.

Kempt and curly, Frey’s beard is an icon worthy of Oprah’s presence. Not quite boring nor adventurous, it is incredibly consistent and has captured the attention of millions. The greying chin hairs are the beard’s best written characters: ornamental ionic serifs that pay off better than the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. Yes, I just compared whiskers to Greek architecture and Tootsie Rolls in one sentence. Sh’zam!

Bonus illustration by Karen Caldicott from The New York Times book review of Bright Shiny Morning:

07 July 2008

Google Beard Guy
9.3


When you do an image search for beard on Google, this is the first guy that pops up (thanks to a post over on the Beard Board).

Google Beard Guy possesses an exquisite beard. Its broom-like shape fanning out under the chin sweeps across his neck and chest, protecting him from the elements. Ruby, blonde, amber and even nut-brown hues make it easy to crave a pint after gazing at at GBG’s barba grande. The bristles look thick and healthy, a sharp contrast to GBG’s thinning crown. More sheep wool than alpaca fiber, this beard looks just warm enough to endure a New England winter and water-repellant enough to survive the Pacific Northwest.

What better specimen is there for the almighty Google algorithm to choose as an ambassador of beardage to the world wide web?

04 July 2008

Uncle Sam
6.5



The first goatee to be prominently featured on Beard Revue, Uncle Sam’s pretentious facial hair is unique indeed.

If you dress up a billy goat in navy and white with a red cravat and goofy top hat, you have political propaganda icon that inspires nationalism to the umpteenth degree. The goatee plays a starring roll in the ensemble: Sammy could be just another guy with bad fashion sense, but the little white tuft protruding from his chin lets everyone know he’s a light-hearted eccentric.

In his most famous rendering (above), the oddball becomes gravely serious and commands your attention, demands your patriotism and prompts you to fall in line with (if not sign up for) the military industrial machine. Without that goatee, Sam would just be a bitter old man in a Salvation Army suit and the moment would be lost.

Happy independence to ya!

02 July 2008

Beard Repository goes live!


I am so excited! Today, Beard Repository — the official merchandise center for BeardRevue.com — has gone live! I am very pleased to introduce the Panda Beard t-shirts, finally available. There are also Leonardo mugs, postcards and bumper stickers. Check it out!

url: cafepress.com/beardrevue

Posters and buttons are coming soon.