30 September 2008

My mustache brings all the girls to the yard…

Self-explanatory watercolor action by Karen Kurycki. Original here.

29 September 2008

Herman Melville

Call him Herman. Herman had a beard.

By 1851 he had grown his longest beard — largely considered a failure during his lifetime, and most responsible for Melville's fall from favor with the public — and is now considered one of the greatest face sculptures in the English Empire and has secured Melville’s place among America’s greatest beardists.

This classic maritime growth unfurls nobly. Melville’s strong plumage would later inflate the draping port and starboard boundaries, like a the loose end of a broom’s bristles. It’s no wonder his New York legacy is celebrated on the cheeks and chins of dapper Williamsburgers.

117 years ago yesterday, noted The New York Times obituary, Henry Melville had died. And if you’ve not yet read Moby-Dick; or, The Whale, it’s never too late to start.

Why? Beards are awesome.

What good are the internets if you can’t friend a group on MySpace called Beard Club?

Andy, Beard Club Founder

27 September 2008

A beard sketch from The Office

26 September 2008

Life is mostly beard and bubble

Bubbles from Nick Campbell on Vimeo.
Via Certified RANDOM.
Thanks Jordan.

25 September 2008

Shel Silverstein

To this day, Shel Silverstein ushers in poetry for a great many children every year with collections like Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic. And with his legacy bundled with beardy poems (like here), we can be assured that he appreciated a good face follicle festival.

Give a little in honor of the birthday of the man who wrote
The Giving Tree. Write a rhyme or two about beardage and post in the comments or email it to me (see page footer).

24 September 2008

Patrick PetitJean

One glance at some recent photography of Patrick PetitJean may have you singing “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” (despite the fact that Jesus did not have a beard). The 24-year-old French model is a rising star. And it’s no wonder PetitJean is garnering attention — vérifiez cette barbe!

PetitJean’s beard is properly rugged and tough — not what the average English-speaker thinks of the typical Frenchman. It flares from his face in bold form. Looking a bit like Neptune here, you can see where PetitJean might utilize his seabeard to keep his face free from seafilth.

Kudos to PetitJean for bringing the fashion world up to snuff on respectable facial furniture. Now let’s get those politicians to catch on…

23 September 2008

Scenes from a broken social scene

Broken Social Scenester and dedicated beardster Brendan Canning has a nice interview with Pitchfork about his forthcoming “Churches Under the Stairs” video premier on Pitchfork.tv and BSS touring/recording plans. There are some great stills of Canning and fellow Scenester/beardster Kevin Drew from the video included. In the meantime, enjoy “Hit the Wall” from Something for All of Us….

Woke up this morning, got myself a beard

George licks Brian's beard from Rebecca Zellmer on Vimeo.

22 September 2008

Dave Grohl

In the Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl makes the second best drummer face. But his face makes the first best beard.

Grohl’s barbe du roche is appropriately half Bonham and half Page, bestowed upon him from the rock gods of yore. Grohl not only suckles from the Zeppelin teat, he also has also dutifully filled the drummer’s seat and guitarist’s…pants. Um, right, so it’s no coincidence there’s some resemblance to these dudes:

The soft entanglement under his chin is not something many pop stars like Grohl cultivate these days. So it is for this community enrichment alone that earns him his beard merit badge.

But Grohl also rocks a decent beard. It unfurls as instantly familiar and consistent. Call it the power chord of facial hair: can’t tell if it’s born out of laziness or defiance, but it sure does the job.

Postscript: While Taylor Hawkins has the second best beard in the Foo Fighters, he is universally regarded as the master of drummer face.

20 September 2008

Books, beards and Cocoa Puffs

Downtown Owl is the latest book from beardy Chuck Klosterman. He will be reading at Powell’s City of Books Sunday 21 September at 7:30 pm. More info.

19 September 2008

Edward “Blackbeard” Teach

I’ve been thinking about the word yankee since I listened to an episode of A Way with Words discussing its etymology.

The likely source of yankee is the Dutch name Janke, which means little Jan or little John, a nickname that can be traced back to the 1680s, when it was used as a slang term for pirates.

The term really gained steam during the Industrial Revolution. Europeans began using the term to refer to all North Americans as a result of America’s national policies towards European intellectual property. America only industrialized as rapidly as it did by counterfeiting European inventions, ignoring global patents and stealing intellectual property wholesale.

Hence, it is un-American not to behave as a pirate.

Which leads me to thinking about the well-bearded, infamous Blackbeard. In an effort to intimidate his enemies, he wove hemp into his enormous black beard and lit it during battle. For this, his hairship won Most Pyrodynamic Face Craft at the Pilagers’ Prizes from 1714 to 1718, a five-year streak never seriously challenged.*

Capable of hoarding loot and hiding weapons under his grog-soaked chin dreadlocks, Blackbeard was rarely unprepared. His beard was imitated but never surpassed; a truly enviable beauty.

Arrr! Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

*Leuitenent Robert Maynard cut off Blackbeard’s head and hung it from his bow in late November 1718, earning him Best Decorated Bow in 1719.

18 September 2008

I’ve been ten thousand years in the beard of the internet

The Federal Reserve, led by Ben Bernanke, is being stretched.

His name is Mandy Patinkin. He has grown a beard. Prepare to see The Tempest.

Wicked effing beard, no?

This guy does composites of stock photos you’ll likely never see.

The title of a beard book longer than any beard, Beards: Their social standing, religious involvements, decorative possibilities, and value in offence and defence through the ages by Reginald Reynolds, is available at Amazon and a fine read.

17 September 2008

The green-beard effect

After a few Google searches for beards, you’re bound to run into links for green ones. I got curiouser and curiouser and this is what I found, straight from Wikipedia:

The selfish gene theory postulates that natural selection will increase the frequency of those genes whose phenotypic effects ensure their successful replication. A gene for altruism can be favored by selection if the altruism is primarily directed at other individuals who share the same gene (kin selection).

A green-beard effect gene (or linked genes) produces three phenotypic effects:

  1. a perceptible trait — the hypothetical green beard;
  2. recognition of this trait in others; and
  3. preferential treatment to those recognized.

So, this gene is directly recognizing copies of itself, regardless of average relatedness.

Green-beard altruism could, strictly speaking, increase the presence of green-beard phenotypes in a population even if genes are assisting other genes that are not exact copies of themselves in a molecular sense: all that is required is that they produce the three phenotypic characteristics described above. Green beard genes are vulnerable to mutant genes arising that produce the perceptible trait without the helping behaviour.

The idea of a green-beard gene was proposed by William D. Hamilton in his landmark article of 1964 and named by Richard Dawkins in his classic book The Selfish Gene of 1976. But only in 1998 was the first green-beard gene actually found in nature, most specifically in the red imported fire ant (Solenopsis invicta).

Unenumerated blog post
Nature: How green is your beard?
Homosexuality and the Green-beard Effect

Think big, keep it indie

T.V. on the Radio were recently featured in a nice article from The New York Times. Previously reviewed beardy Kyp Malone was quoted “I’m done with cool. I’ve been done with cool for years,” effectively reinforcing his coolness. Go Williamsburg!

16 September 2008

Stop-motion beardage / I <4 Fleet Foxes

White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo.

If <3 = love {um, it’s a heart, duh}, then <4 = more than love. And — not in the creepy sense — I do more-than-love Fleet Foxes.

Besides their music being amazing, besides the new “White Winter Hymnal” stop-motion video exceeding all expectations and besides having witnessed them en vivo at some neighborhood block party, their beards are stellar. More on these guys to come!

15 September 2008

My beard beats for you

Bye to my hair from Blair on Vimeo.

The Bondi Caveman

The Bondi Caveman (Jhyim Mhiyles) is a homeless man Jolly Swagman who lives on the cliff face of Bondi (Sydney, Australia). As his beard rounds Santa Claus and closes in on Rip Van Winkle, it’s easy to picture Mhiyles living near the ocean. And the beard extends down under like foamy waves pulling off the beach of his jaw.

I found the Bondi Caveman’s picture on Daniel Boud’s Flickr set of 50 portraits taken with a 50 mm lens. He wrote a whole post on it here.

Speaking of Aussies, have you heard The Beards from Adelaide, Australia?

12 September 2008

Colin Donahue

Wow. Really. Wow.

Anonymous sent this New York Magazine article on Colin Donahue to the Revue recently, and for good reason! Donahue is a Californian set designer and bar owner. I don’t know much more about him than that. But who cares? His beard rawks.

For nine years, bristly stalactites have formed an admirable curtain. The rigid ripples complement the looser, flowing locks of hair framing Donahue’s face. The stache is overgrown, but still shapely. Colors range between varying degrees of beige and raw umber, a stunning palette enriched by highlights.

Donahue’s humble mane reminds me of the mien Brad Pitt donned in Legends of the Fall

11 September 2008

The hardest beard to find

10 September 2008

James/John Capen “Grizzly” Adams

In Happy Gilmore, when Shooter McGavin responds to a challenge, “Yeah, right, and Grizzly Adams had a beard,” it’s fun to watch golfer Lee Trevino set the record straight: “Grizzly Adams did have a beard.”

But many of you may not know who this dude is. So bask in the wonders of this embedded internet multimedia film clip:

Adams’ beard is the passport to his wilderness lifestyle and the home of many a furry woodland creature. His avid interest in grizzlies is all too apropos — any old Joe might mistake Adams as a bear with a fur coat and face like that.

The beard blend’s well into the shadows of the pines or up against the granite mountains. And it keeps him protected from the elements throughout the twelve-month session. How utilitarian. How legendary.

09 September 2008

Kings George

I came across this article from TIME magazine dating back to 25 January 1937. The notable quote is as follows:

Last week jubilant British subjects were looking anxiously at their King's smooth chin. Word had gone round that His Majesty's Government in the person of Squire Baldwin had advised the King-Emperor to grow a beard.
All kings should beard up.

08 September 2008

Leisure suits, longboards & beards

It should come as no surprise to you that this combination makes for great fun. It trumps Wayne Coyne by adding a longboard or typical longboard culture by adding a beard. Leisure suits? Well those are always awesome. Skip to the 2' mark if you’re impatient.

Every kid wants a beard

Slippery Pete’s Whisker Elixir {video}

Just apply Slippery Pete’s pattented goo to your beard-free zones and watch as it instantly transforms your pastey visage into a whisker wonderland!

Beard is the new Lei

via The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on the great Alaskan beard tradition.