31 October 2008

Fleet Foxes
Robin Pecknold, Casey Wescott and Joshua Tillman
8.9 average




The beardy goodness of the Fleet Foxes rests firmly on the shoulders maxillae of frontman Robin Pecknold, keyboardist Casey Wescott and drummer Joshua Tillman, but you already knew that.

Pecknold’s timbre reminds me of a beardy from my old stomping grounds. And the fluidity with which the band plays is just perfect for countless occasions. But this is no music blog. These guys have damn svelt beards to write about!

This unified front of Fleet Foxes has a beardosity of incredible proportions. They shift keratin coverage duties from member to member depending on their environment — like a group some kind of scifi beard chameleons. They’ve been documented with big beards, short beards, stubble and more on two, three and four band members just via Flickr. My suspicion is that Fleet Foxes have a myriad of barbarous combinations too exhausting to count. As a whole, they are to beardage what Bruce Lee was to martial arts.

That’s not to say Fleet Foxes are perfect. They aren’t. Scraggly and, some might claim, inconsistent, there are some flaws.

Rather than focus on inconsistency, I say note the variety. Like voices harmonizing in perfect pitch with the universe, these Cascadian beards will stop you in your tracks. Each hue a tone, each length a volume and every follicle the physical manifestation of individual wooly angel choir members.

And for the win: they follow in the tradition of the highly regarded lumberjack beard oft found in the Pacific Northwest.

Show Fleet Foxes some love:
Making of “White Winter Hymnal” video
MySpace
SubPop
Amazon

30 October 2008

Mannequin with a moustache and wire over her head


There’s Man Ray (above), and then there’s just simple commerce of moustaches displayed on mannequins (below).


Found via hellofrancis via NOTCOT

St. Louis mayor declares Mustache Day


Though I prefer the variant spelling, October 25 is officially Mustache Day in Saint Louis in honor of the ’Stache Bash benefit. This is the sort of thing where it’s okay to be fashionably late, right…

From Mayor Slay:

WHEREAS, appreciation of a handsome mustache knows no bounds of race, creed or color; and

WHEREAS, the St. Louis-based American Mustache Institute (AMI) will hold ‘Stache Bash 2008 to celebrate the mustache and to benefit St. Louis Challenger Baseball, a local baseball league for children and adults with disabilities; and

WHEREAS, since its incorporation over a year ago, AMI has carved its niche as a tongue-in-cheek facial advocacy group and has gone national, as well as international, in a big, big way; and

WHEREAS, it is my great pleasure to welcome everyone participating in ‘Stache Bash 2008, and I thank each and every one of you for your support of this worthy cause.

Now, therefore, I, Francis G. Slay, Mayor of the City of St. Louis, do hereby proclaim October 25, 2008, as:

"MUSTACHE DAY"
IN THE CITY OF ST. LOUIS

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused to be affixed the seal of the City of St. Louis, this 25th day of October, A.D. 2008.
I do recommend checking out that American Mustache Institute blog if you get the chance. It’s not a beard blog, but it’ll do.

Cheers, Colin.

29 October 2008

Bob Ross
6.7


To celebrate the late Bob Ross’ birthday, let’s take avert our eyes from the anglofro and direct our attention to the less-famous beard. Painted on his palette lies a nice, happy beard.

Thin strokes of bristles en masse build a much more viscous forestry of beard. It’s no mistake, just a mere happy accident that Ross’ beard varies in length and appears almost patchy. But beards and painting are as individual as people — they can be any color they want.

Also, Ross looks like a lion with that anglofro-and-chin-tuft combo.

Bob Ross Techno
happy trees stencil

Tim Harrington's Beardo


As previously reported, Tim Harrington of Les Savy Fav has an amazing beard. And now he’s got a show on Pitchfork.tv. From Pitchfork:

Now your pals at Pitchfork.tv are pleased to announce we’ll be turning the lens on Tim regularly for a new series he’s calling “Beardo”. Harrington claims the name of the show springs from a popular coda in his own life. “I've been called ‘Beardo’ since I was ten. Life-size people, little kids sometimes call me ‘Beardo.’ ‘Weirdo-Beardo.’” Wonder why. Three “Beardo” episodes are already in the can, with more to follow shortly. “Some of them are just me messing around with people, and other ones are great little short movies.” …

Without giving too much away, Harrington let some of his plans for the future of “Beardo” be known. “I’m trying to get some political episodes going,” he notes. “I’m working on one about legal male abortion, another one about a provocative sex education book. We’re looking for someone that knows how to make puppets, for a puppet show episode, but I don’t have a puppeteer yet. Maybe someone reading the article will want to be a part of ‘Beardo’?” I can only imagine they might. (OK, we never thought we’d say this, but if you’re a puppeteer and want to get involved, please email beardo@pitchforkmedia.com.) …
I’d like to see the Squallis Pupeteers get their hands on this one. “Beardo” premieres tomorrow, Thursday, October 30 on Pitchfork.tv.

Thanks for the heads-up, Matthew West!

27 October 2008

Jon Corzine
4.9


John Corzine, democratic governor of the garden state, is a a politician with a beard. This, unfortunately, is a risk in our current political waters. Thus, in Corzine’s post, it’s rather admirable to display such plumage (even if shoddily so).

For Corzine, the dedication to beardiness stops at not shaving. Not every beard has to be long or burly, but what’s the point of a nearly transparent beard? Corzine is in a unique position to use his white bristles to his advantage, by growing them out to instant wisdom length.

Current polls on his beard have sunk to 35% approval and 42% disapproval. Bummer.

26 October 2008

Dunk on Amish beard Oden, win $500


Who can dunk on Oden? That’s all. The Kings’ Kevin Martin did and got a cool grand from his teammates. No one on the Clippers could follow through.

Srsly, kiddos. The Blazers are feared this year. This is going to be an amazing season. Now let’s hope Rudy grows his beard out a bit…

24 October 2008

Moustache Pencils


Swiss Miss found these moustache pencils — perfect for the moustachio-challenged! Bonus: they’re based on the famous soup strainers of Salvador, Zorro, Burt, Django and Clark.

Tim Harrington (Les Savy Fav)
9.3


I headed up the Cascades to Seattle this past August to witness an amazing testimony of musical beardiness. The Capitol Hill Block Party made good on its promise of stellar music. But the beardage blew me away.

Oh, the Fleet Foxes were there (more on them to come!). But it was the hyper Tim Harrington of Les Savy Fav and his wicked tough hair bib that taught me how to fall in love all over again.

The spastic beardy in the Daisy Dukes was nothing short of beastly, his barbe bleeding brilliance ever step of the way. We’re not talking grace here — it was an intensely feral display. Being there meant remembering why you grew a beard in the first place. And I did.

All the majesty in letting your face go au naturale is prominent in Harrington’s basic expression of beardom. It’s not barbaric. It’s just forthright, well shaped, a pleasant hugh, has a solid girth and completely unapologetic. The perfect complement to the man. The way beards were meant to be.


See this beard live at ATP.

23 October 2008

10 Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow a Giant Beard


A fine rebuttal to today’s earlier argument.

Advice on Growing Beards


An illustration from the very talented Caldwell Tanner, though I think we can all disagree…

22 October 2008

Expanded Beard Type Chart


The Expanded Beard Type Chart over at John Dyer’s Beard Page is excellent. I’m not sure how often he updates this, but it is far and away the most comprehensive and best designed collection of beardography available on the web.

Great Moments in Facial Hair part 3





by Edge Shave Gel via Hulu

21 October 2008

The Groucho Letters


I get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I see beardies and moustachios in the news. The Revue awarded Groucho Marx an 8.8 just the other day, and today I found an op-ed on The Groucho Letters: Letters from and to Groucho Marx on NPR.

Read or listen to the whole story at npr.org.

Sébastien Tellier
7.4



Seems the French are doing their part to push the beard into the social style conscience. Sébastien Tellier (singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist) is part of that crew, prominently featuring his barbe in the recent “Devine” video.

With wide mouth gaps, Tellier’s beard is quirky at first glance. Upon closer inspection, however, it is full and shapely. The face framing — and maybe it’s partly due to the white suit in the video — harkens back to early 1970s Pete Townshend, only furrier. It’s simple and straightforward, no flashy tricks, not terribly unique. But the prominence of this French face follicle foliage is an important cornerstone in the international temple of beards.


Tellier on MySpace

20 October 2008

Boston baseball beards blow it


They may have lost the American League Championship Series and their ticket to another World Series, but they looked good doing it. Bummer.

Plunder, pillage and beard fulfillage



Why Me? recently posted about 826 Valencia, a non-profit tutoring center for youth in San Francisco, and their reinvigorated storefront. It’s a pirate supply store (which, is totally awesome in and of itself).


Being pirate fans, they are de facto beardists, as evidence by this beards are the new black t-shirt and other paraphernalia, like the beard extensions and beard dye pictured above. Blackbeard would be proud.

Many kudos to Office, the designers who put this ship on the water.

16 October 2008

History of the Beard (I-IV)


WMU English Beard Off 2008. Despite its title, it isn’t actually encouraging to take off your beard. Rather, it appears to be a competition to grow the best beard (shouldn’t we all aspire to such great heights?). The fellas over at Western Michigan are leading the charge with their blog, sharing “their innermost feelings and thoughts, photos of their beards, and of course, random shenanigans.” And the History of the Beard.

Of note:

Neanderthals became extinct because their lack of beardage made it difficult to blend into their surroundings, leading to an inability to hunt effectively, meager meals and, eventually, starvation.

A bearded snake offered Adam the power to grow a beard, aggravating the buhjeezus out of the his maker and causing his and Eve’s exile from the Garden of Eden. Then God and Adam hugged and made up or something.

Long beards = long life. Just look at Plato, Socraties and Aristotle.

The best way to conquer Rome: grow a beard, kick some ass.

With so much beardage (see: Goths, Huns, Vikings, et cetera), the Dark Ages shall henceforth be known as the Golden Age of Beards. Revue note: I cannot *wait* for the Platinum Age of Beards!
In several parts, read the full history:
Part I
Part 1.1: God’s Version
Part II: The Ancients
Part III: The Fall of Rome
Part IV: The Dark Ages
Beard on, you Beard Off-ers. Beard on.

15 October 2008

Groucho Marx
8.8


Julius Henry “Groucho” Marx is arguably the funniest of the Marx brothers, and certainly the most famous. This is in no small part due to his trademark mien: unkempt center-parted hair, killer eyebrows, round glasses, giant schnoz, cigar and, of course, a wicked lady tickler.

Inching across his upper lip like a fat fuzzy caterpillar, Marx’s grand moustache was perfect for the black-and-white moving pictures of the day. The strong contrast to his pale skin tone was well suited for the camera eye. But it wasn’t all for trademark and film functionality.

It also let his brothers (Chico, Harpo, Gummo and Zeppo) know who was boss. Like a gold medal draped upon an olympian, the Marx moustache sets apart the wearer as more significant, leader of the pack and truly awesomest. I use this technique with my brother the accountant, though with a full beard.

Perhaps Marx’s moustache’s greatest contribution, however, has been the Groucho Glasses. Around the globe, Joe Sixpacks can use this cheap disguise to instantly operate incognito.

UPDATE: Dschonn points out (and I found confirmation) that this is not a real moustache — at least not until Marx was old. The simple grease paint works well, and the review stands.

Great Moments in Facial Hair part 2





by Edge Shave Gel via Hulu

13 October 2008

Mail Call

I have received a bushel of beard mail over the past few weeks (and months) and it’s about time some of it was addressed. So without further ado…

←※→


Jake Schubert writes:
Ok, so I recognize that trimming is mostly sinful but is there an excuse for billionaire status?
Is there a separate term for the billionaire beard?
How about a term for the integrated one-length-all-over beard/haircut as sported by billionaire Lorenzo Fertitta of the UFC?
Well, Jake, billionaires are already exempt from so much, it would be too generous of the Revue to hold them to a separate standard of beardage. Lorenzo Fertitta is taking the Tom Cruise I-wanna-look-like-I’m-Joe-Sixpack look a step too far. Fashionable stubble is not a beard. It’s an embryonic beard. And the true nature of it is compromised the moment it becomes neatly-trimmed stubble. What a glaring contradiction.

In this case, the adjective silly preceding beard might work as the term you’re seeking.

As for the one-length-over-all beard-haircut combo, there should be a term. Though my extensive research has turned up nothing on the subject, I encourage you to come up with something. I recommend omniparilis from the Latin meaning all same.

←※→


Single Mothers writes:
idea: review billy mays. his beard is awesome.
Billy Mays indeed has a great beard. It’s clean and authoritative — just like him! My bearded buddy and I like to joke about how, as a rule, you can trust a guy with a beard. It certainly applies to Mays, as he is the trusted (bearded) face of several cleaning and maintenance products. I found a great video of him spazzing out.

←※→


Stephamania writes:
what about the pianist from up and coming band foxy shazam?!!?!
his name is sky vaughn white and attached are some pics detailing the magic. check out myspace or wiki for additional info. (the music is even more amazing then his mind blowing hair!)
hugs and gropes,
stephamania
Thanks for those gropes, Stephamania. Schuyler Vaughn White, the pianist from Cincinnati’s own Foxy Shazam is an impressive commodity. Continuing the great pianist tradition begat of Garth Hudson and Richard Manuel of The Band, he sports some stellar face foliage.

The Wolverine whiskers donned by White are effing awesome. That they connect through a bridging chin strap makes them even awesomer. This improvisational style, combining two techniques, is inspiring. It is too rare that we are reminded that there is still room with in beardom to find novel and fascinating ways to express oneself.

And while the music certainly is mind-blowing, says I: the chops top the pops.

←※→

Thanks to everyone who writes in. There are still more emails to address and I look forward to responding soon. If you have any questions, comments or concerns about anything beard related, feel free to drop me a line by Gmailing me at michaelbuchino. (Oh, and be sure to add a link to your site if you want to be credited.)

10 October 2008

Andy Sturdevant
9.3



I don’t really know anything about Andy Sturdevant except that Colin Kloecker knows who he is. But I do know he wears his face well. So well he should be arrested for it.


Starting with the short of it , we find a stand-alone handlebar. The upper crest of a sine, the calligraphic character is humanistic (read: imperfect and fatter on the right) and engaging. Sturdevant’s stache is never pretentious however magnificent.

The long of it is bushy and robust. Surely the same muse that inspired Michelangelo’s David assisted in the sculpting of this shapely beard.

Sturdevant’s tenné/gamboge whisker hue is refreshingly crisp — providing a palatable contrast to the Minneapolis snow. It also acts as first scarf to the cold winds of Midwest winters. Bravo.

Edit: I found Andy Sturdevant. Twice!
Bonus: Turns out, he’s a Louisville native — Go Cards!

09 October 2008

All about Beards


All About Beards from Rocketboom on Vimeo.


Facial furniture is not all fun and beard combs. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is trying to eliminate beards. Beardists, rise up! Grow your hair gardens! Up the beard ratio!!!

Thanks for the tip, Thommy!

08 October 2008

Great Moments in Facial Hair part 1





by Edge Shave Gel via Hulu

07 October 2008

Greg Oden
8.9


Oh, sure, I know I’ve posted about this guy before. But did anyone watch his first NBA game tonight? I mean, besides all of Portland? He was nothing short of amazing in his debut. And his chin strap played a starring role.

It may be a bit premature to name a man of only 20 years a BMF, but let’s not kid ourselves. The beard drives to the hoop, dunks, blocks, draws fouls, will bite the head off a rattlesnake and even makes free throws. It is mean and it is in your face. Tonight declared—with trumpets and a parade and tons of confetti—that gone are the days of the LeBron Beard and we have begun the Oden Beard Era.

Mostly a chinstrap with a pencil-thin decorative stache, Oden’s jaw garden frames his face so well his opponents can’t look away, effectively keeping their eye off the ball. Basically, it renders his challengers deers in headlights. I love utility—form follows function, folks. This is as perfect an example you can have.

Do check out the beard in action (with video)






But there’s another thing I need to mention here. Rudy Fernández, the best player out of Europe, stole the show tonight with his passing and his ownership of the alley oop. Fernández looks as if he could grow a beard twice in day. Today also marks the genesis of the Petition for Rudy to Grow a Barba.

Pancho Villa
8.8

Pancho Villa, Álvaro Obregón and a mustachioed military at Fort Bliss, Texas, 1913

Pancho Villa (or Doroteo Arango Arámbula) of Mexico was a revolutionary with a revolutionary moustache.

The handlebar on his lip was tough as nails, while simultaneously maintaining a gentlemanliness rarely found in the wilds of early 20th century North America. At first glance Villa’s lady tickler offers the economy both party and business on one lip. However, it comes off a helluva lot better than a mullet.

The swooping wings on either side offer a satisfactory symmetry left to right as well as a strong counterbalance to Villa’s piercing eyes and fixed eyebrows. This is the true look of a hero.

06 October 2008

It’s just another moustache Monday…


I was strolling through uncrate.com the other day when I found these fine moustache and beard products. I especially like the Icelandic wool beard cap.

03 October 2008

Moustaches, Corvettes & You


A friend recently asserted that it’s rare you see a Corvette owner sans moustache. And to be fair, he was just relaying his son’s bold statement. But is it really that bold?

Throughout grade school, Carla’s dad had a Burt Reynolds moustache and an old C1. Though that is my only reference point, I cannot fathom of a Corvette owner without a good lady tickler.

So send me your photos of staches and vettes. I’ll post them on Fridays. I can’t wait to see the collection grow.

02 October 2008

Roky Erickson elevates to a better dimension



Rocky Erickson, founder of The 13th Floor Elevators, recently grew a beard (he’s grown one before, but this is a new development). I saw him a few years ago sans barb, and at ACL he was donning this thicket. It’s obvious — he looks rather healthy and quite a bit more svelt than ever.

01 October 2008

I am my family

Self-Portrait as Naftuli Goldszajn


Self-Portrait as Leizer Goldszajn


From The Morning News:
Say your family isn’t very good about keeping photo albums—why not create your own? Rafael Goldchain’s new book, I Am My Family features the artist transforming himself into his ancestors to understand them better. As his press materials state, “Photographer Rafael Goldchain’s Polish-Jewish ancestors emigrated to South America in the 1930s, and many others perished in Poland during the Nazi regime. Also lost in the turmoil of war and emigration were most of the portraits of his extended family. When Goldchain became a parent himself, he decided to make up for this lack of evidence and recreate the lost gene-rations of the past, in the present.”
So what you get is a bunch of self portaits by Goldchain dressed as his ancestors. And a few of them have pretty awesome facial hair. Check out the slideshow and interview or buy the book.

I totally hijacked this post from Junesix Media.