27 November 2008

Meleagris Gallopavo

For the truth the Turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.
So wrote Benjamin Franklin to his daughter in 1784. Meleagris Gallopavo (or the common wild turkey native to the United States of America) dons a bright red waddle over his throat. Truly an unusual beard, but it is not unconventional.

The turkey uses the waddle in two ways. It is a cooling device — when the weather is hot, the turkey expands the waddle with blood so that it can cool down in the air. It also serves as a display. Depending on how the turkey feels it may show the waddle to its fullest and reddest or hide it totally. When the tom wants to charm a hot li’l hen, he let’s his bright red beard do all the work.

Also known as a comb, the waddle is a rare feature on a bird. The turkeybeard is indeed a moustache-beard combo, with the moustache draped over the beak like a wet noodle and the beard delicately reposed upon the gobbler’s creepy long neck.

And while the turkeybeard may not look so pretty to humans, it is to hens. That and the super-warm scarf functionality make for a pretty sweet beard.

Happy Thanksgiving!

26 November 2008

Hairy Beavers in Oregon

It’s No-Shave November for the Oregon State Beavers football team. This approach to team unity, ferocity and overall awesomeness will likely aid them in the civil war game against the Oregon Ducks this weekend.

About 50 hairy-looking Beaver Believers were filmed outside the Valley Football Center, chanting pro-beard and pro-OSU slogans.

“Beware the beard!” they shouted. …

“No-Shave November” is an informal movement where men don’t shave during the month. The Web site noshavenovember.org is dedicated to raising awareness and money for social issues through men growing their beards.
Go beards!

Dalton Trumbo

Dalton Trumbo once sported a similar goatee to Vladimir Lenin. But his hirsute soup strainer was a trademark that remained quick and steady throughout most of his life. And while not as Colonel Sandersly significant in the statesmanship of pogonology, it was indeed a remarkable moustache.

A few snow plows left and right over a philtrum mogul, this snowbird spreads it moustache wings wide over Trumbo’s lips. It flails out, all salt and no pepper, confidently and full of wisdom and wit. Wisdom and wit— the utterly profound representations of a man who stood up to McCarthyism. Could there be a better symbol of civil liberties? I think not.

Moral of the story: Grow a mo, be a bastion for people’s rights.

Kudos to Mr. Robert Rich and примерный усик.

25 November 2008

Marc Johns’ illustrations

Marc Johns is an illustrator from Victoria, Canada. He creates whimsical drawings filled with dry wit, humour and, yes, sometimes beards. Do check out his work. A signed print of The mustaches chased him zealously (bottom) is only $20.00 and would make for a perfect seasonal gift.

When asked if Marc dons a beard, Marc writes:

That's so funny! You're the first person to ask me that.
No, I don't wear a beard. But I like beards!
I like his gusto and his we can all appreciate his appreciation, no? That’s just good diplomacy.

Beard dating poll

Glamour is polling for how folks prefer their men’s faces: bearded or not. I know your answer, but I encourage you to voice your opinion at their poll.

My favorite kind of gnome

I was tipped off to this article about beardy metrognomes in Jezebel today…

It’s that time of year again, when the thermometer drops below 40, and suddenly the streets fill not just with dry leaves and black ice but urban guys suddenly transformed into lumberjacks. The beards grow, the sweaters come out, and seemingly overnight, the cities are crammed with scrawny Hemingways. You know what I'm talking about: the Metrognome.

The metrognome comes in several forms. There is the archetypal Pacific Northwestern/Western metrognome, of course, attired in flannels and beard year-round. The metrognome was originally identified, in fact, in San Francisco. The southern metrognome has been known to evoke the Civil War. Then there is the seasonal metrognome, who comes out only when the weather grows cold. This varietal wears a beard, yes, but his clothing also becomes considerably more rugged than is his wont, or than is necessary in an urban environment. The metrognome is not to be confused with the Bear, who is characterized by a certain natural burly hirsuteness. The metrognome transformation, by contrast, is completely inorganic and owes nothing to actual appearance. As “metro” implies, there is an element of deliberate grooming and styling involved.

The metrognome will often claim a beard is for warmth. But there is also an element of dandified defiance to it: the metrognome says: I am not part of “the system.” The establishment has no hold on the metrognome! His appearance implies: in my heart, I am cut out for the challenges of the wild. I master the elements and am obscurely connected to an earlier time. When the writers’ strike occurred, talk show hosts couldn’t go metrognome fast enough. Whereas most metrognomes have to deal with the awkward growing-out stage for a few weeks in November, their public shearing was a Samson-like loss of metrognome powers. And does the metrognome have powers? Well, anecdotal reports are inconclusive: some women find the metrognome cozy and cuddly; others somewhat silly and scratchy. One thing is for sure: he’s coming to a microbrewery near you, and the time is nigh.

This piece was brilliantly written by Sadie Stein and totally nabbed from Jezebel, a magazine of which I had never heard until today.

Thanks, Jessica.

22 November 2008

Exit Strategy

Beard: Exit Strategy from Will Jardine on Vimeo.

This video is all too relevant since the Iraqi cabinet approved a pact for U.S. withdrawal. Though I do not suggest anyone leave beard behind, Will Jardine gives eight different plans for beard removal.

21 November 2008

Behind every clever girl…

…is a guy with a beard and glasses. Remember that. For sale here.

(via A Cup of Jo)

20 November 2008

Mick Jagger
9.6 (who knew?)

Whoa. Did you know Mick Jagger grew a beard in Paris, 1979? I sure didn’t. But who cares…now I know, and his beard was brilliant!

If there’s anything wrong with this beard, it’s its present absence. The way it blooms outward from his mouth, Jagger’s face transforms into a jubilant summer dandelion. The fully blossoming beard and that shaggy mane build an aesthetic not unlike that of Jim Morrison. Do I even need to mention the complete range of tints and shades in this viscous specimen?

Jagger’s is a truly amazing growth worthy of beard royalty. Bummer Jagger never kept it around very long.

19 November 2008

20 Manliest Mustaches and Beards

The Art of Manliness recently reported on the 20 Manliest Mustaches and Beards from Facial Hair History. And their list is excellent. There are several previously featured on the Revue, including Chucks Darwin and Norris, Kimbo Slice, Kenny Rogers, Karl Marx, Salvador Dalí, Grizzly Adams and Teddy Roosevelt.

To be sure, you can expect more from the list to be highlighted here soon. Same bat time, same bat place.

18 November 2008

Moustaches and beards

As previously reported here on the Revue, moustache and beard wigs are cool. Kottke.org just picked up on it with a larger image compiled, so I wanted to share. Of course, it was all compiled from HWW Mannequins.

Peter Sarsgaard’s evolving beard

Some people think this is scary. Srsly. I saw it on the internets. They have no idea what they’re talking about.

  1. Complete disclosure: I have no idea who this dude is.
  2. I encourage every beardy out there to comment on the complete metamorphosis here. Because that’s one helluva beard.

17 November 2008

Mo Hanky

I’ll cool it with the Movember products after this last one: the Mustache Handkerchiefs by Avril Loreti. Makes for good stocking stuffers, no?

Kris Payne

Kris Payne is a photographer, member of Beard Team USA and Gotham City Beardsman Alliance co-founder.

Payne’s dedication and diplomacy of the beard is noteworthy. Ushering forth a full thicket of bushy bristles, his jaw is smartly adorned for every season.

Leaves are changing, it’s getting colder and the wet season is in full swing. A burly beard like this will not only protect you from the elements, but also match your favorite flannel. This sort of utility is often overshadowed by the svelt and well-kempt nature of great beards in general.

That’s not to say Payne’s pelt is not fashionable—it is. So fashionable, in fact, that he would could easy beget an popular band whether he plays an instrument or not. Each of the beard’s unique follicles flare out excitedly in a multitude of directions, but, with a gestalt psychology, build a unified front of awesomeness any face would be proud to wear.

Bonus: Payne also has taken the greatest picture of Jack Passion I’ve ever seen and some stellar shots of a guy named Fritz.

14 November 2008

All Hail Dancing Bearded Guy

Original post by The Vulture at VultureDroppings.com

So if you woke up this morning and thought to yourself, “You know, I haven't seen a good bearded dancer in quite some time,” have we got a video for YOU!

“Jožin z bažin” is a Czech song about a man-eating swamp monster that can only be killed using a cropduster. Now if that doesn't make you wanna put on your dancing shoes, you might want to check your pulse.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s Friday, beardies. Time to dance…

Gracias Jaden.

13 November 2008

Tom Selleck would drink this

Plan B Bar + Kitchen is celebrating Movember whether they know it or not. Kudos.

via The Liquid Muse

mo mo mo mo mo mo mo

NOTCOT is doing their fair share of mo promo this week. Check out this ’stache vase.

Moustaches are inescapable

As NOTCOT points out, moustaches are inescapable this season. This Vlieger & Vandam camee/toiletries bag is yet another sign Movember is huge.

The Glorius [sic] Mustache Challenge

The Glorius Mustache Challenge kinda speaks for itself.

Moustache Me

Celebrate Movember with Moustache Me. The moustaches available are simple vinyl stickers and are therefore semi-permanent fixtures — perfect for upgrading your favorite subway ads (see above formula)! Great styles, great prices, great fun.

more styles at Moustache Me

12 November 2008

Mo’ Chain

For those of you who would rather carry your moustache in your pocket or purse: the moustache keyring.

Moustache: It’s the Hardest Part about Being Me

11 November 2008

Baby Mo

Even the neonates are getting into the spirit of Movember.

Photo by by Alexander Crispin.

Mo’ Movember

Movember seems to be churning out moustaches all over the web. I found this entry at Offbeat Bride.

Offbeat Brides and their grooms and their guests love fake mustaches. LOVE THEM. I have no idea where this trend came from, but within the last month I’ve seen enough mustachioed wedding parties to realize that this isn’t an isolated incident. And in fact, it’s not even just weddings — mustaches are everywhere.

I’m telling you, fake mustaches are hot right now, people. Fake mustaches are the new red wedding dress. Take a look at all the mustaches in the offbeat bride flickr pool!

I get that it’s a trend … but can anyone tell me why? Where did it come from?

Nice to see a good trend in its infancy. Dawn, I hope you’re taking notes.


Tim Harrington’s Beardo has aired two episodes over at pitchfork.tv. It’s bizarre, and I recommend folks check it out. It has little to do with beards other than the Les Savvy Fav vocalist wearing one.

Episode 1: Vampiral Dysfunction
Episode 2, part 1: Massages
Episode 2, part 2: Haircuts

10 November 2008


Hey, did you know it was Movember already?

Movember (the month formerly known as November) is a charity event held during November each year.

At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants, known as Mo Bros, then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their Mo (Australian slang for moustache), raising money and awareness along the way for men's health and the fight against prostate cancer.
Check out their website. Grow a mo.

09 November 2008

John Lennon
#9… #9… #9…

This just isn’t going to work out with your short face.
And thus, the greatest band ever fell apart because Paulrus refused to grow a decent beard.

Though Harrison’s was quite popular, John Lennon’s beard is certainly the most famous of Beatle beards. It’s emergence as the dominant beard during the Abbey Road sessions had pogonologists the world over yearning for more.

But this was a short-lived stint. Lennon utilized side-burns, moustaches, stubble and this full-realized beautiful beard. As dense and intricately crafted as Beatles songs of the era, the true genius lies in its simple message: grow.

Sepia to sienna with several shades of browns in between, Lennon’s beard was a robust revolution in beardage for the time. Though considered part of a counter-culture revolution at the time, I like to think of it as a beacon of the revitalization of decent whiskers since the 1930s. Lennon had the vision to fashion a formidable field of face foliage that matched his long crown hair strand for strand.

Lennon framed his growth well, too.
His long hair was less parenthetical and more like a super hero cape for the beard. A big amish hat just made for a good contrast.

Note that during the final Beatles shoot in 1969 (for the compilation Hey Jude), only “Paul” is beardless. Impostor.

Lennon’s brief tenure as hair chief in the Beatles is still iconic enough today that the beard has inspired countless musicians and artists.

For giggles, here’s a photo of me doing my best Lennon back in ought five:

I’ve waited too long to post about this Beatle beard. Happy birthday, Winston!

07 November 2008

People would like you more if you grew a beard

…or had a t-shirt sale. Glarkware is having a great sale on t-shirts right now. The one above is $20.00 $15.00 + 10% off if you use the coupon code winterish10. Sweeeeeet.

Thanks to T-Shirts Around the Internet for the tip.

Build a Beard Workshop

Help real people in developing countries by sticking a fake beard on your real face.

atto, a Think then Do Tank based in Belfast, think Kiva is great and like to have a bit of fun while giving them some money. So visit this site and put a beard on some one!

One Thousand Beards

I just picked up the Allan Peterkin book One Thousand Beards from the library. ftw!

05 November 2008


Citing the immense popularity of my shirt design on my tumblr, I feel obligated to share it with you here. This is the last of the political non-beard stuff. Back to beardy goodness soon, I promise.

Get yer OMG on here or click the pic.


We (the United States of America) have a new president (sans barbe).

I may be in and out for a bit. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Congratulations to everyone.

04 November 2008

B.E.A.R.D. in the U.S.A.

Hey kids, don’t forget to vote. (Click image to embiggen.)

03 November 2008

Mr. Mustache Comb Guy

Bent Objects, one of my all-time favorite blogs, is featuring an awesome stache today. Check it out!

Andrew Palmer

Andrew Palmer, an amateur strong man, softie code monkey and the founder of Get as Drunk as You Can Day, sent me a few pictures of last year’s beard. The super-poofiness of this crimson barbe is remarkable, but when carved into a Franz Josef, it transforms into the toughest facial hair this side of the Cascades.

Rightly taking a cue from Ole Anderson, there are few styles more intimidating than the chops-and-stache combo. Echoing the burst of energy needed in strong man competition, Palmer’s mandible mane flares with intensity, yet it remains steady and even all the while.

It is for this calculated growth — the profound gall to be both explosive and scrupulous — that Palmer’s beard is so deserving of high marks.

Lately, Palmer prefers the omniparilis, which is a shame. But it’s at least a lot better than Lorenzo Fertitta’s.

You can check out his snatch, watch him jerk or see him play with enormous balls on YouTube. Happy birthday, Palmer.

Note to U.S.A. Beardies: Remember to vote tomorrow.