03 March 2009


Beard Revue has been receiving a lot of mail lately. But I’ve been overwhelmed with day-to-day stuff — like, for instance, work — and haven’t been able to respond to everything. So, here I will attempt to field your comments, questions and concerns.

Thank you for writing in!

From Sean:
I’ve got a handlebar that’s growing quite unruly. Do you have any tips for trimming it without messing it up? You seem to be an expert on the subject. I’ve attached a pic of the ’stache in question, it’s called the Wild Bill Dickock. I’ve also attached another pic of what I was sporting before just for the heck of it, It's called the Chester Bea Arthur.
Sean, first of all: the names you give your facial hair are exemplary. I recommend everyone find a category by which to properly classify their facial manifestation of awesomeness. But to create your own names… well, that’s just legendary.

As for your grooming habits, I can recommend a couple things.
  1. Be very careful. While you can always grow back your sweet ’stache, I don’t know anyone who would want to suffer a week without that handlebar.
  2. I have been letting my mo’ go for a while now. I’m not a heavy waxer yet, but I do use Craig’s Beard & Stache Butter Wax to shape and mold my lady tickler. Seriously, this stuff is easy to use, smells pleasant and will last you for-e-ver.
Happy moustaching, Sean. By the way, I love both styles, but the Chester Bea Arthur you sported is wicked cool. ¡Joder!

Heidi sent me this strip from A Softer World.

This one’s pretty awesome. My footballing friend Ty Kreft found an article from The Guardian about Celtic defender Danny McGrain being barred from entering Albania because he wore a beard.

Is it true that Albania once barred Celtic defender Danny McGrain from entering the country because he had a beard? wondered Andrew Oxley in 2007.

Very nearly, was the answer, as communist Albania frowned at all facial hair under its leader Enver Hoxha, who had made beards illegal before Celtic were due to travel for their 1979 European Cup first-round first leg tie against Partizan Tirana. The owner of a fine-follicled face-hugger himself, McGrain was understandably anxious before the trip, recalling that “there was a lot in the press about beards being banned there.”

As it transpired, no one told McGrain to shave it off and he went on to play in a 1-0 defeat. “I would have done it if they had asked, but I had actually seen a few people with them,” added the Celtic legend, whose side subsequently ran out 4-1 winners in the return game. “It was a little intimidating too because when we went outside there were only men in the streets and no women to be seen, but there was no bother at all.”

Right-back McGrain went on to win 62 caps for Scotland, before moving into management at Arbroath, where his fancy chin-warmer came to prominence again. “I’ll never forget how the fans took to Danny McGrain and his beard,” recalled then-chairman John Christison of the so-called ‘Danny McGrain’s Bearded Army’. “It was crazy — but brilliant. They would all wear their own beards and we had 700 T-shirts printed up. They sold out in three days.”

Jorn wrote:
…and included the picture above.

Mohammed sent the Revue an update about a team of Kiwi footballers, the New Zealand Warriors, last autumn. At the time, I was pretty wrapped up in the US election season and completely missed seeing this in my inbox. I’ll let this article from September 19, 2008 explain what urged Mohammad to write:

It’s been an issue that’s been building (or growing as it were) for months. The porn-star moustaches, the Grizzly Adams beards, even the overdone goatees, have been apparent on all.

Did a few losses early in the season lead to a ban on razor blades at the club, or is this a Samson-like superstition - losing hair would lose games?

In the aftermath of the eight-placed Warriors knocking over the minor premiers, Melbourne, team captain Steve Price was finally asked about his beard: "What's doing with them?"

And the truth was revealed. The Warriors have been growing their facial hair for three months, as a tribute to their departing prop Ruben Wiki.

Nicknamed 'Jake the Muss' (from the NZ film Once Were Warriors), Wiki became only the tenth player and first New Zealander to play 300 first grade games in the NRL when he started at prop in the Warriors 28-26 victory against the Wests Tigers in June.

According to Wikipedia, Wiki, of Samoan and Maori heritage, played 55 test matches for New Zealand between 1994 and 2006, the most test matches played by any rugby league footballer in the world (as at April 2008).

And, apparently that's enough to ensure that when he started growing a beard, his teammates followed.

Oh, and get this: there was a Warriors fuzz campaign in Wiki’s honor. The fans brought cut-out beards (below) to the games! Why am I not exposed to more rugby?

Phil just thinks of me whenever he sees a beard at this point. Good. He no longer owes me gas money. (Sorry, I couldn’t find a source for this one.) These are by Ashley G and Drew. Thanks, Geof!

And I here’s some general fan mail… because my ego has room to grow:
I felt compelled to tell you that your blog is great.

I wear but a humble moustache now but I did use to sport a full beard (see attached photographic evidence) and am a fan of facial hair in general.

Keep up the good work mate —
Thank you, Chris! I dig the beard you’ve donned and wish your moustache a lifetime of glory and awesomeness.


me said...

I'm not sure where the actual photo is from, but all the little prints of bearded guys are by Ashley G. You can never own just one.


MikeD said...

I've got to say, I also love this blog. After only finding it a week ago, it's become a daily inspiration.
I've been having thoughts of trimming down as the weather has gotten warmer, but thanks to this blog I think I'm going to stay long and strong.

Blinde Schildpad said...

I am assuming you're already aware this mint condition piece of canadian beard lore (blore):

Kevins Beard

It's by the Kids in the Hall.

La Barba Continua!

mb said...

@ Blinde Shildpad

I posted it on my Tumblr a while back. It really deserves its own plug on the Revue, though. Thanks for reminding me!