11 April 2009

"Uhhh… Sprout"?

Pastels, flowers and beards. It must be spring. Wear the shirt, compliments of Teeluxe and artist Nathaniel Russell.

09 April 2009

Evil Colbert does all the bad stuff

Stephen Colbert’s Trekkie roots may explain why he has thought so poorly of bearded men. Revealed during an interview with New York Congressman Dan Muffei, Colbert suggests men with poet’s beards — especially twins — are nothing but evil.

Silly Colbert. When will you grow up and grow a beard?

08 April 2009

Kris Kristofferson

Kris Kristofferson, one of the greatest song writers of our time, is one handsome liberal. And I’m not just saying that because I love “Me & Bobby McGee” and “Help Me Make It through the Night” or because of Ethan Hawke’s tale of how he told off Toby Keith (more).

Kristofferson is handsome mostly due to his righteous beard.

Presently straddling something akin to Steve Zissou and formerly cribbing style notes from the pages of Leisure Suit Monthly (see video below), Kristofferson has had a long history of sporting a beard.

This scruff is teeming with toughness. Kristofferson’s salty beard could be a bit longer, but it’s all about attitude. Instead, the short trim is all business and matches his no-nonsense glare.

Also, he hunted vampires. Which is kinda awesome.

Beard lifts 56-pound child

Ever want to raise money for a charity with your facial hair? What did you do? Shave your four-week old ’stache at the end of Moustache March? Well stop shaving and start lifting.

Eamon Daly’s beard lifted a child. A frickin’ child.

We are well aware that beardage is often a manifestation of awesomeness, but Daly is ready to prove it daily. This has effectively become my favorite way to raise money.

Of course, you can find out more about this hair-raising experience and Off the Street Club which it benefits at thingsmybeardcanlift.com.

07 April 2009

John Holdren

John Holdren is the presently the Assistant to the President for Science and Technology, Director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, and Co-Chair of the President’s Council of Advisors on Science and Technology. His lifelong promotion of science can inspire the least rational among us. His beard will certainly capture our hearts.

Simple, and simply genial, Holdren’s beard avoids the flash of and pizazz attributed to Van Wrinkleness or an inspirational muse beard. Instead, it serves more as a sheath of confidence, a constant companion that projects an air of reputability.

Swooping bistre tints and bronze shades line his mandible, culminating at a delta of whites and greys. The colors transcending this muzzle barathea quite nicely correspond to Holdren’s bushy crown and completes a pleasant face frame for the casual observer.

03 April 2009

Detroit Red Wings: The Beard is Back

The Detroit Red Wings are showing their playoff beards again this year.

Step 1: Grow a beard.

Step 2: Be prepared.
Step 3: Profit!

Sent in from the oft reliable Phil Jones.

02 April 2009

First Thursday Beard Art

Portland graphic designer Michael Buchino’s nod to Glaser and Duchamp is available exclusively through Beard Revue. Only 200, each one signed. And it’s dirt cheap.

{ $20 }

Beards are awesome and prolific Hotlanta watercolor artist Sam Ellis knows it. Just check out his Flickr set.

The futuristicly-inclined Devin Clark just finished installing a beard-centric art show of my paintings and masks in Brooklyn. Do not miss all the cool beardy art in his new work.

Laith McGregor is some kind of awesome. His website isn’t 100% right now, but I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more from this Aussie in the years to come.

Thanks, Hugh.

Thanks to Lindsey Clark-Ryan’s Western-loving father, an appreciation for handlebars has developed and is even featured in some of her work. Are you a mustachio nut?

Theory One of Cape Town does a illustrates a lot of characters with beards. A lot.

Thanks, Super Duper.

Julianna Swaney, a Michigan native, has been showing in the Journey through Bookland exhibit at Together Gallery in Portland. I love the notebooka place to “stache” your thoughts.

Graphic designer and illustrator Santiago Uceda of Corvalis, Oregon, made this appropriately beardy tour poster for Portland band Jared Mees and the Grown Children.

Bay Area artist Lisa Romero makes mini paintings. This one’s my favorite.

Portland’s very own Ashley Goldberg has made several prints of (Semi-)Bearded Guys available at her online shop. Goldberg even does custom portraits now!

Sean Morris draws pictures and lives in Perth.

Ariel Aberg-Riger’s work is peppered with various styles and media celebrating beardage.

Atlanta-based Mark Weaver makes something cool everyday. The Skullbeard print is for sale.

Ontario’s own Carson Campbell knows that beards are cooler than moustaches.

Californian Jared Andrew Schorr is an illustrator that works with cut paper. Love Is in the Hair and Good Day for Vikings are about as awesome as peanut butter on a saltine.

Bearded , the UK indie music magazine, commissioned Londoner Jim Stoten for this awesome illustration.

Jenny Meilihove in Jerusalem painted this watercolor of the very talented Erin Dollar (of I Made You a Beard fame). And she has an Etsy store full of more great illustrations and such.

Garden State artist Ana Benaroya recently showed at Fontanelle in Portland. The pieces above are for The Stranger, Seattle’s only newspaper.

Chicago artist Laura George has some sweet prints available at her Etsy shop.

01 April 2009

The Merkin

A merkin is the artificial covering of hair for the pubic area. So what is the Revue doing covering this? Well, Oxford English Dictionary offers a few brilliant quotes about merkins that relate to beardage. And, since context for these golden nuggets is a bit hard to find, it seemed fitting to laugh and let your imagination wander a bit.

This put a strange Whim in his Head; which was, to get the hairy circle of her Merkin … This he dry’d well and comb’d out, and then return’d to the Cardinal, telling him, he had brought Saint Peter’s Beard. (1714)

Or wear some stinking Merkin for a Beard (1680)
And apropos of nothing:
A thousand hogsheads then would haunt his firkin, And Mistris Minks recouer her lost mirkin. (1630)
Happy April Fool’s Day.
April 1, 2008
Google images search results for the curious (srsly, merkins are hilarious)

Adam McIsaac suggested this entry. Thanks, uncle.