Erin Dollar (the beard-minded brain behind I Made You a Beard) has compiled another great holiday gift list for those of us with hairy face stuff on our minds. If you’re gonna buy, buy beardy.
Reggie Jackson may be most remembered as the American baseball player who attempted to assassinate the Queen of England, but growing up, I knew him as Mr. October.
Jack Passion is no stranger to Beard Revue. In fact, he lies somewhere between mascot and honorable diplomat of the world beard community, which is why it’s only too appropriate that he would one day serve as a docent into all things beardy.
The Facial Hair Handbook: Every Man’s Guide to Growing & Grooming Great Facial Hair, Passion’s first book, was released earlier this year.
The book is not about the history of facial hair nor its place in culture. Instead, Passion focuses on the context in which and how to wear facial hair. Simply stated in the introduction, “this book is for the man who is ready to look like one.”
The Facial Hair Handbook includes musings on the stumbling blocks of the metrosexual movement, instructions on how to get through the early stages of a baby beard and tips on which shampoos and conditioners to use. “In the throes of Passion, your hard work will pay off,” Passion advises.
Humorous gems are generously sprinkled throughout, like “sex is the rain dance of facial hair” and “every one of my beard hairs is an antenn to the bearded world.” A few Franklinesque aphorisms like “healthy man, healthy beard” and “if you’re going to wear it long, wear it strong” are also offered up from time to time, lending to the book’s incredibly endearing quality.
The Facial Hair Handbook is a perfect companion for both expert and novice pogonolgists. Whether you read it on a sunny afternoon in Walnut Creek or on a brisk day in Berlin, it is sure to make you smile. This book makes for a great, affordable gift for your favorite beardy.
So pick up a copy of The Facial Hair Handbook and then write to Jack Passion and tell him his book changed your life.
Last week, Beard Revue decided to give away a few posters to folks who shared their beard stories. Using the random number generator over at random.org, the Beard poster giveaway is done. If you did’t win and still want a poster, nab one here.
My dad was starting to go gray and he bought some Just For Men hair dye. In like super dark brown. But he only put it on his beard. It looked friggin ridiculous beneath his salt and pepper / medium brown hair. We called him Blackbeard for weeks after. He did not dye his beard after that.
With beards, you gotta go au naturale methinks. Hit me back janet.lackey at the gmail. This poster is radical, I just moved and I need art on my walls, this gets a spot for certain.
I've always loved beard, and had a small beard for a few years. But when I discovered Beard Revue, I decided to let it grow bigger and bigger. I've never liked myself that much before !!Thanks, beard revue
well i never really dug shaving, and i have always liked being outside. so i got the idea to try my hand at living off the land. so i joined the navy to save money to buy some land in canada. i have almost reached my goal. the biggest draw back by far is the having to shave everyday. i work in a hospital and once, while on the night shift, being the only one working. i decided to let my beard run free. i was on the the shift for a month, but on day 28 my boss came in early and saw the most rugged corpsman walking the floor in the middle of the night. after a hour long chew-out session, i was bare faced again. but i kept the stache. when im not fighting the man from inside the system im checking out the revue to update myself on the bearded community.thanks for keeping me sane
When I was really little, my dad would grow out his beard during the winters, and shave during the summers. One year, when I was 6, he was getting out his beard shavin' tools in the bathroom when I walked in, horrified. I yelled something to the effect of “Don’t shave! I don't want to see your face again!” and he didn't shave again until I left for college last year (much to my dismay, I might add).Hope you're having a beardy week!
Shortly after securing my first post-college job, and feeling secure in my employment, I finally let my whiskers free. A few years later, my wife and I had a baby. One day my wife and 4 month old baby daughter were taking an afternoon nap, and I must have had the brain fever, because I decided to shave off my beard while they were asleep. When they got up, my daughter took one look at my pale mug and burst out in tears, clawing at my wife, trying to get away from me. My reassuring words were of no use.She regarded me with suspicion (and horror, perhaps) until I had accumulated about three weeks growth again. Haven't shaved since.
ever since I could grow facial hair I have worn it in some form or fashion. My greatest beard experience occured my senior year of college when I decided to let it grow out for the entire year. when graduation day came around most all my family and friends thought I would shave for the commencement. They were wrong! I proudly walked up on stage and recieved my diploma with that big, bushy, beautiful, beard in tow.
once, i was taking a nap. and my boyfriend decided to shave his amazing beard. i woke up from my nap to him yelling, “look i caught a mouse” and holding a plastic bag rather close to my face. turns out it was his beard. in a bag. jerk.
“Not with a Beard That Gross”Here goes: I'm that guy who was able to grow a solid beard since I was in 9th grade... you know the guy: he buys cigarettes and beer for all the other kids, dates the senior girls, flirts with your mom.Anyway my beard story is also a soccer story (if you have solid beard in high school you need to play soccer... at least growing up in Vermont). My senior year our Varsity team was playing our arch rivals from the next town over. At the time I had totally unkempt beard with a weak mustache. I also had dreadlocks (which my wife dubbed “shitlocks” when she saw my senior picture in the yearbook... whatever, she went to an all girl’s school). This was a heated match and we were tied 1 to 1 going into the final minutes of play.I was always a defender and with my dreadlocks and beard in place I struck fear into the hearts of the hairless pipsqueaks who threatened our goal. During this particular game I was unusually fierce in my defense: slide tackles, long clears, extreme headballs. The other team was getting frustrated knowing time was running out. In one of their last efforts to score, a gaggle of forwards came skipping down the field nimbly dribbling and making dainty passes back and forth. I anticipated a pass down the sideline and committed to the attack, lurching into motion, my dreadlocks flopping against my back, beard pushed hard against my neck. The ball was rolling out ahead of the opposing forward…a little too far. I saw my chance and took to the air, pointing one leg out straight, the other bent at a 45 degree angle: textbook slide tackle. I hit the ground a yard in front of the ball and the forward, sliding along the grass, approaching the ball and the sideline. But the grass was slicker than I expected, I was moving faster than I thought and my timing was off—terribly off. I slide past the ball and over the sideline, seeming to gain speed as I slide. The opposing forward leapt over me with ease and sprinted for the ball. Just than I looked up to see that I was sliding towards the opposing teams fan whose faces were lit with jeers and taunts at my overshooting the intended target. But I was not slowing down. I was headed right towards a preppy blond chick who undoubtedly was hooking-up with one of the sprightly forwards—perhaps the very on I had just barely missed taking out. She screamed in horror as my hairy form hurtled towards her along the grass like some woolly sidewinder. But there was little she could do—I was moving too fast and she was hemmed in by throngs of other fans. Time slowed, her face contorted and she turned a shoulder and lifted a foot off the ground as my textbook slide tackle swept her remaining grounded foot out from underneath her.She fell hard. On to me.I could smell her perfume and her shampoo…and her fear.“Oh my god! You are gross! Get away from you woolly mammoth!” And she was up. Brushing my disgusting hairiness off her, her face still contorted in horror.“Sorry” I said as I lifted myself from the grass.I gave her one last look and than turned back to the game. The little forward had regained control of the ball and was racing towards the 20 yard box. I was too far off to stop whatever was happening. As I jogged back onto the field I heard the blond girl say behind me, “There's no way that guys in high school…not with a beard that gross.”Just then the little forwarded took a shot at the goal, the ball sneaking past our goalie, the game ending, the crowds cheering.
A friend of my parents had a rather large red beard for years. He also owned a huge bull. One day he decided to shave his beard off. When he went to feed his bull, it didn't recognize him and almost killed him! He eventually had to sell it because it never got used to him. :/
Ah, I really like this print! And as you guys know I have a beard. My face is a bone of contention between me and my roommate, who cannot grow a beard.He blames my face for all of my successes and failures. If I get a date, its because of the beard. A stroke of good fortune? It’s because of the beard. Trip and fall down some stairs? Beard.Just the other day, he promised to kill me if I became infected during a zombie apocalypse and said “then I'm gonna cut of your face and wear your beard around. Wait, no. Probably not.”I shaved it a few months ago, and immediately regretted it and let it regrow. I don't like feeling 12 again.End of story.
Well, not much of a story, but I made a comic about my experience of growing a beard, in 5 stages: mindbase21.be/comicsHope you enjoy!
Here’s my story.I came home to visit my mom after not having seen her for two years. I left a few weeks after graduating high school and pretty much bummed up the east coast with my guitar, visiting friends and family members for a few months at a time. I hadn't shaved since the day I got handed my diploma, but I did cut my hair (I donated it to Lock-of-Love). When I got to the train station I saw her waiting for me and she saw me. Then she looked past me, waiting for her son to get off the train. She didn't even recognize me! I couldn't pass up the opportunity and made my way around the people passing by until I was beside her. I stood there for about 37 seconds before saying “Hi, mom”.She flipped out. Then she hugged me.and by the way, Sept.3 is my birthday! Seriously! Number 22. Not that it would affect your decision in any way…
My first attempt of growing a beard failed due to a number of reasons and one being the girlfriend hated it. After I broke up with the girlfriend (for other reasons) I started growing what is now know as “The Break Up Beard”.About 9 weeks into my growth I was walking through the garden to my neighbors house. I was at my neighbors for only a few minutes when I noticed a spider hanging below me. I move back a little and the spider moved with me and then moved to the side and there the spider went too. I figured out the spider was hanging out in “The Break Up Beard”. I am not a fan of spiders but I was pretty happy that the beard was big enough to catch a spider.Love the print man and hope to see it in person!
I have a full beard and a bald head. I'm also the general manager of a restaurant where I employ several non-english speakers. I don't speak Spanish, but I overheard them having a pretty heated conversation about something the other day. I asked another co-worker what they were saying and he responded, “They're talking about ‘La Barba’, that means ‘The Beard’. That's you.”
Below is an actual discussion with a friend regarding our somewhat frightening, mutual love for all things beardy. Yeah. It’s a sickness. It was this conversation (and several others like it) that was the motivating factor for starting a beard blog of my own.Original message from friend:Also- a coworker just said to me that he is worried about my beard obsession and that if I plan to grow one I shouldn’t let his comments at lunch discourage me (he said it was gross when women have facial hair when I threatened to grow my own beard). Also- aforementioned coworker used to have an awesomely solid delicious looking beard. I don’t even censor myself at work, this might actually be a bad habit I’m developing. I’m just glad I’m not lonely in my addiction. ;)My reply:I’ve also had way too many discussions with people about the usage of the word ‘beard’. For educational purposes, I have decided to create a helpful guide.First of all,‘beard’ can be used in the following forms:
- ‘beard’ (lowercase)** applies to ANY man (as all men have the potential to grow a beard)
- ‘Beard’ (capital B – capital only to distinguish a particular Beard from any run-of-the-mill beard) is used to refer to an actual man with an actual beard on his face (example: Reginald is a really foxy Beard)
- ‘beardy’ is used as an adjective (example: If only Reginald was beardy, he would be incredibly foxy)
- ‘Beardy’ (capital B, as it is a proper noun) refers only to a mutual friend of ours, who gets special treatment for having a magnificently manjestic beard. This term could be potentially applied to another Beard, of course, if only one came along sporting a beard that merited the title.
Basically, I love beards. :)
This might be too late for the contest, but it's never too late to enjoy a story of beardedness.I took French this summer for a degree requirement. In the first week we were learning the words for personal attributes (tall, short, curly hair, etc.). After standing up to be used as an example for both “tall” and “glasses,” we finally got to “beard.” I was sitting in the back corner of the room. When the prof. asked who in class had a beard, I watched as every head in the room turned towards me like pogonophile dominoes. I was quite proud of “ma barb.”I dig the poster, so please randomly pick me.
There are a lot of amazing beard charts out there, but this one is certainly one of the best conceived and executed. For one, it has over 150 variations of beardcraft and moustachery. Also, Jamie Reed expertly screen printed it with black & metallic silver — how tough is that? And screen prints are what folks in the ’90s would refer to as “da bomb” and still make graphic designers swoon today. And there is a key!
How many can you identify?
Unfortunately, The Dapper Man’s Guide to Beardcraft and Moustachery is all sold out. Show Reed some love and check out the very beardy The King of Town print of Ambrose Everett Burnside showing off his sweet shades, only available at Human Shaped Robot.
Xylocopa rightfully boasts:
We are currently the only people in the world to possess this highly desirable and useful object.This is pretty much the awesomest instrument ever. Now all we need is a Complete Theremin Guide to the Beards of the World.
Complete Guide features complete coverage of the 25 major moustache groups, enabling you to instantly identify any moustache you spot without even putting down your ukulele.
The Ukulele Guide includes not only the standard moustache groups, but also exotic and endangered moustaches like the Shirley Temple and the LARP-stache. Recently cultivated strains of moustache such as the Octopus also feature prominently, and the headstock is graced with an inspiring moustache quote, sure to please any moustache fancier.
SXSW and Coachella have pushed our bearded heads through the loins of music festival season and we have Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza and Pitchfork to carry us through the pregnant summer. And Consequence of Sound has made us a nice list of awesomely bearded songs by festival favorites and Beard Revue regulars.
10. “Waitin’ For Superman” by The Flaming Lips{ Continue Reading | Consequence of Sound }
9. “How Can I Tell You?” by Cat Stevens
8. “Run Thru” by My Morning Jacket
7. “Bring the Noise” by Anthrax
6. “Car” by Built to Spill
5. “The Great Salt Lake” by Band of Horses
4. “La Grange” by ZZ Top
3. “Chinese Children” by Devendra Banhart
2. “Upward Over the Mountain” by Iron & Wine
1. “I See a Darkness” by Bonnie “Prince” Billy
Hair India; A Guide to the Bizarre Beards and Magnificent Moustaches of Hindustan is a coffee table book full of great beardage. The photography is stunning and inspiring.
The snaps include the world’s longest beard (measuring six foot long) and the world’s longest moustache (11 foot six inches).
Author and editor Richard McCallum notes:
Beards and moustaches tell the story of modern India—how it is becoming a more Westernised, homogenised place, but also how the great traditions and the love of display still exist. Male grooming is important to Indians, and facial hair proved a topic that took us to places and into conversations with people we would never have met otherwise.Here are a few of the Momo-Moochies, Wacky Ladakhis, Praying Mantis and Asiatic Ball-Buffers include in the book.
Alex Moaba from Asylum wrote in to share Rollie Fingers’ seminal ’stache. Anthony Layser’s comprehensive analysis of Rollie’s handlebar covers all your questions — about the inspiration, subsequent legend and the doubts to maintenance, length and even preferred wax.
The inspirationAnd my favorite:
“I just wanted to be different. [The Oakland A’s players] started growing mustaches in spring training in 1972, and everybody was growing regular ones, and I thought, ‘What the hell, I’m going to do something a little different.’ So I let the ends grow, put a little wax on it, turned it up and see what it looks like. Bingo, bango, we started winning, and I started getting guys out. Baseball players are the most superstitious animals that ever lived, and I was having a good year. Year after year we were winning and I was getting guys out, so it became tough to even think about shaving it off.”
You may scare kidsContinue reading Rollie Fingers’ Guide to Sporting a Sweet Handlebar ’Stache.
“I was in Chicago at the airport and there was this couple in front of me and they’ve got a little 5-year-old girl. She keeps turning around and looking at me. And all the sudden, she turns around and kicks me right in the shins. Her parents turn around and say, ‘Honey, what are you doing!’ and she looks up at me and says, ‘Why were you so mean to Peter Pan?’ She thought I was Captain Hook. It was right around the time that movie, Hook came out. I just started busting out laughing. I was just glad she didn't have pointed shoes.”
Beards have been part of humanity's hairy history for decades. Now, for the first time in wall-mounted form, comes this handy 18" x 24" chart tracking the hierarchy of the many types of beard that currently adorn the face of Man. This is a greatly expanded version of the pocket-sized Beard Spotting Guide from the Wondermark collection Beards of our Forefathers.
At just $12, I know you wanna get me one for Chrifsmas. ;-)
